Self Sabotage…why do we do it? Weekends are a killer for me for some reason. I am able to be good during the week…plan plan plan…and have good intentions for the weekend. Then, the weekend comes, and its like I throw away all the rules to weight watchers, and eat what I want. This weekend we had dinner out for two nights in a row with friends. I definitely could have made better choices, but I think there will always be that part of me that says, no way, I want to eat what I want, don't "tell" me what I can't eat, and I'll be fine! Well…its not fine. I weighed myself Saturday morning, and I saw 166.4….a whole pound less than last week (yaaaay)….then…after my horrible eating weekend…I am at 167.5! (boooo) =(
I know what I did wrong and know how I can fix it, but I'm tired of playing catch-up! I need to somehow figure out why I constantly do this over and over and over again to myself. You would think that feeling better in clothes would make it so I wouldn't do this to myself. Maybe its because it just plain pisses me off that I can't just eat whatever I want, whenever I want to eat. That I will have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life, because that’s the type of body I have. Frustrating.
I've been on a diet rollercoaster ride ever since I can remember…and its always typical…I get down to my goal weight, feel great, think that I will never do this again…and then before I realize it, I'm back up to a 12, 14, 16 again. This is the first time that I've actually started this process when I have 17 pounds left to loose, but still…its happening. I NEED to reel myself back in, regain focus, so I can say no on the weekends. I really need to start thinking about this now, otherwise I will end up right back where I started again…and even heavier…as each year its gets worse.
On the emotional side, yesterday my parents ended up finally admitting to each other that they want a divorce. So now they are going to go through that whole process. I'm hoping they will be able to keep it amicable, especially after 43 years of marriage, but we shall see…lots of hurt feelings going on there. I'm just glad a decision was finally made, and now they came move forward in some direction, instead of staying in limbo.
I've also been experiencing awful hot flashes this month…which I'm learning seems to directly connect with Aunt Flo…because I still haven't gotten her yet…which is what I need for the next donor cycle. Sigh….waiting again. (and nope….not prego…because I took that test as soon as I was late).
Other than the awful weekend eating and emotions and hot flashes, my weekend was great. We went out with the honeymooners from the most recent wedding we went to, then on Saturday I had an old friend that I haven't seen in ages came over for dinner. She wasn't able to make it to our wedding, so this was also the first time she got to meet my husband too. We laughed so hard, my face was killing me! Hubby and I went to Ikea yesterday to have our coach cushion replaced, and purchased a long TV "stand" (can't think of what else to call it), that goes down below the TV…but the TV is mounted to the wall, so it doesn't really touch it. Our home really feels like its coming together, and looks great! We have been spending a lot of time on it, and its paying off. =)
Hope everyone's weekend was relaxing…and here's to being FOCUSed today! =)
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1340 kcal
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Tłusz: 33,33g | Białk: 77,07g | Węglo: 214,08g.
Śniadanie: Fiber One, strawberries, Weight Watchers Yogurt. Lunch: swedish meatballs. Obiad: 2% american cheese, lavash, chicken sausage. Przekąski/Inne: giant bar, Gerb's, apple, watermelon. więcej...
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