Dziennik JMA312, 11 lip 15

I've been away from here and I don't like being away.....things just happen, life has it's ups/downs and sometimes I just want to crash when it is in the 'down' mode. I'm ok...but I'm in need of some TLC mostly from me. I need to be my 'own best friend'. This is something that we talked about in our OA meeting this morning. I do enjoy my own company, I am a loner BUT I have treated others better than I do myself, I need to treat me good. I need to be my own best friend. Not the one that cuts me down, tells me what I 'should/shouldn't do' but the one that is there FOR ME. I know I can do this, I have in the past. I know this essence is within me, not just the 'evil gremlin' that whispers STUFF (another 4 letter S word) to me. There was other messages in the meeting this morning that resonated with me, the I 'get to do this' replacing the I HAVE TO DO THIS, and the 'OK GOD' relating to some things are not in my control, but as I would refer to my HP higher power. ALSO, what others say/think of me is none of my business, this one is a difficult one as I normally try to make/hope other people like me, but I know whether they do or don't this has to do with their perspective and their life, I do NOT control that or can I. I can only be the best I feel I can be and be good to other and ALSO me good and true to ME!