Dziennik artistriley, 02 lis 11

Time 've been trying to make positive changes in my life. Trying to do small things and make better choices every day. I've joined a gym and I have been going a couple of times a week including once with a personal trainer. I haven't lost any weight but I haven't gained either. I do think that I've lost inches. My clothes fit looser and I think my face looks thinner.

I know that I want to lose weight gradually and my mantra is to live the lifestyle of a thinner person in order to become a thinner person. I've been seriously considering going on a 'starvation diet'. IE lowering my calories to 1200 and trying to get this weight off as fast as possible. It's what my trainer recommended to me and it's what a lot of diets recommend. People on the internet say that 1200 is the minimum that you can eat without going into starvation mode. I think that's a little too general. I weight two hundred and forty pounds (shame) and my BMR is at least 17-1800. I don't want to cause long term harm to my metabolism, and I'm still almost exclusively breast feeding my 6th month old (we're trying to introduce some solids but he doesn't have much interest in anything but breast milk)

I've done it before and lost weight fairly quickly. Despite my huge weight loss in the past, I've always had terrible eating habits. After I lost weight I would still skip meals, have coffee for breakfast, and candy for lunch. When I got pregnant and started eating normally, I gained 60 pounds over the 9 months. I couldn't control it and my dr. visits were so stressfull.

I don't know if I can deal with the low calories right now. Life is really different than it was when I lost weight the first time. Work is stressful and I'm not getting much sleep. Obviously taking care of a baby is stressful and I'm in a relationship where we have both enabled eachother to get fat.

I do really well in the morning but by late afternoon and dinner time I have been falling off the band wagon. I feel ready to break these bad habbits. I think it's going to take something drastic so I can overcome the cravings. I'm going to have to be meticulous about planning my meals. Especially dinner time. I might have to avoid family dinner all together. Make myself something different. It won't be fun or sustainable for the long term, but maybe it will help me break out of this cycle of over eating at the end of the day.

I know I probably shouldn't eat less than 20% over my BMR (Which comes out to about 2000 calories at my weight) but it just feels like too much for me. I think I'm going to try to hit my BMR at 1800 calories. If I continue to be moderately active 3-5 times per week I'll still have a deficit.

Destructive behaviors are also still hanging around. I know that it's wrong and it's not helping me lose weight. I think that strict planning of meals and not being alone will help

I just need to dive into it. I really feel motivated. But then again it is 7:30 in the morning. I will commit to food journalling. Everything. Even if I feel guilty for what I've eaten, I'll journal it. It's a step in the right direction and maybe it will help me identify my triggers and vulnerable times of the day. Also I need to stop drinking beer and wine during the week. It's a waste of calories.

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2748 kcal

Tłusz: 78,93g | Białk: 94,89g | Węglo: 433,34g.   Śniadanie: Peppermint White Chocolate Coffee Creamer, Chewy Bars - Oats & Peanut Butter. Lunch: Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt, Black Olives, Cracked Green Olives, Gyros Meat Slices, Pita Bread. Obiad: Sesame Oil, Broccoli (Chopped, Frozen), Green Snap Beans, Red Kidney Beans, Basmati Rice, Chicken Leg Meat and Skin (Broilers or Fryers, Batter, Fried, Cooked). Przekąski/Inne: Peanut Butter Cups (Miniatures), Milky Way (Fun Size), Kisses with Caramel, Junior Mints, Antioxidant 100% Juice Smoothie - Berry Blast, Low Fat Ice Cream Bars - Caramel Truffle, Grapes, Milk (Nonfat), Ovaltine Classic Chocolate Malt Mix, Chewy Bars - Oats & Peanut Butter, Bananas, Apples, Nonfat Strawberry Greek Yogurt. więcej...