|
2828 calories burned, 768 consumed, I drank 17 cups of water, took 7801 steps and got served a HUGE helping of stress, anger, and sadness.. HOWEVER.... However, I did NOT stop and get a Hamburger or Ice Cream on my way back across town past all 20 fast food stands.. I fought my van and gained control of the steering wheel JUST in the nick of time.. as I walked the last mile of my day, (3.78 at last count for today) I talked to myself totally out loud.. I told myself that Even though I want to save both of my boys, I am NOT going to sabotage my efforts and use my stupid ex (even though I was NOT quite that nice about him when I was talking to myself)and his stupid BS games as an excuse. I have to make decisions to do what is right for ME.. I am in control of me alone.. I cant control him, either of my boys or any of my 3 girls, my family, friends or anyone other than me... and even if I cant control everything that happens to me, I can slow the hell down and control my reactions to these happenings.. he has always tried to control me and my shocking revelation today, after being divorced for more than 10 years, I am still letting him control me.. he plays me like a cheap guitar.. and I play into it every time..
then I get even more mad at myself for falling for it again and I eat and drink too much of all the bad stuff to cope with being so stupid all over again..
so not any more.. when my ex came by my house to "talk" I explained to him that he was done and over.. his control, his games, his lies.. I am not going to be affected in any adverse way by them any more. Mind you I have been remarried for 9 years to an amazing man, but the ex still has that insane hold on my anger button. and this Epiphany finally came to me today.. 2 years of being dragged to court countless times (Literally every Friday for 13 months then at least once every other month for 8 months following that)and heaping stress upon stress upon stress on me and I took it on willingly to be able to say I was there for my kids the whole time.. I was his emotional punching bag after I refused to be his physical punching bag any more.
Lets see how well this goes!!
Progress on goals, I stayed far away from Fast Food, I drank well over 10 glasses of water, I didnt get in 5 miles walking, but I will add a little extra for the next few days to make up for it to get back on track. I journaled my food and water intake, I didnt get in an exercise video, but I will definitely do two tomorrow! I believe that is all of my challenges, I weigh in on Monday so I dont know how I am doing on that front, but I feel good about it.
|