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I am feeling so good today. After a lot od prayer and focusing on God I have a better understanding of a lot of what's going on with me. A big part of me wanted to stay heavy because I was in a "safety zone" so to speak. Being young, now 30 and trying to do whats right by taking a vow of celibacy is hard. Two years ago I thought I had found the one, but he wasn't who I thought he was. I started to eat for comfort and as time passed I gained weight, I noticed that men were less and less likely to approach me, and that was good because I didn't need the attention. I let my hair grow out naturally and i stoppoed putting a lot of effort into "looking good". i just didn't want to. My motto became "Fat and Nappy", if I stay this way then I'm safe and no man can hurt me because if I don't feel pretty and sexy and ALIVE, then I won't give out my number, I won't want to go out, and ultimatly I won't get hurt. Boy was I wrong! Instead of keeping the men away I just attracted a different kind of man, the ones I really don't want. The ones who think I am depareate or that I have a low self esteem. So now with words of wisdom from the Most High, I begin my journey anew today! Excited about the things to come. I purchased "The Best Life Diet" by Bob Green. So far it is one of the best books about "non-dieting" that I have ever read. Oprah does the forward and there is just so much good stuff so far. I am still in the introduction, but if it is any indication of the rest of the book, this is going to be GRRREAT! Have a d day blessed everyone!
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