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20 sierpnia 2012

Waga:	Do tej pory straciłeś:	Wciąż do stracenia:	Zastosowanie diety:
81,0 kg	12,7 kg	0 kg	Słabe

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25 lipca 2012

Wooo Hoo, look at me! Journalling and logging my food. This hasn't happened in weeks! Not being overly cautious about what I am eating, but I figure I will be back to that soon. Not too bad though. I think I will end up somewhere around 2,000 cal today. I have a gym date with my love after work so I will be burning some calories at least. I think having my scale back in the bathroom will help get me back on track.... I had to move it while kitty was in there. Not enough room for the litter box AAAANNND the scale. I need a wake up service though to get my ass outta bed tomorrow for the gym.

Hope everyone else is having a good day, back to work for me!

(2 komentarze)

20 lipca 2012

ok, here is my venting journal....

First, a bit of preface on it:

I work for in a tiny department of random tasks at a natural foods distributor. It started as a guy selling produce out of a van and has grown into a national company. Many of the employees - at least the ones I work with, have been at the company many years. I have been there 8, my boss 15, one of my best friends 10, our director close to 20, etc. It's those of us that can survive the constant changes from some back woods hippie company to a full on corporately driven, publically traded company. Our old director who had been there since the dawn of time (for our company) finally decided her time had ended in 2010 and she left the company to pursue other ventures. *I miss her dearly* Anyways since then it seems that everyone is out to get us. The person that replaced our old director was a guy from another corporate distribution company. He was cocky and has issues with strong willed women. Well, my manager is a very strong willed black chick (no offense meant, just discribing) and the two of them clashed regularly... and unfortunately it was usually over me and my job. My boss, whom I have known since I was 16... long before I worked there, always sticks up for me and I appreciate her so much for that. So, it ended up that there were harassment suits filed, and my boss threatened to leave the company.... and let's just say "being screwed" would be putting it lightly if she decided to leave. Well the end result was combining our little department with another slightly larger department, promoting the manager of that department to director, promoting one of their supervisors to manager and having us all be one big, happy family. It was a great thought.

Well come to find out, working with our new director hasn't been any better. She is a control freak. She micromanages and decides what my manager needs to be brought in on and what she doesn't. This has been rough on all of the employees because my manager isn't any fun to deal with when she's stressed. I got to a point where I hated my job and my work performance suffered because of it. My manager and I had a talk and things were all better. There hasn't been any issues for months now. Now on the other hand, my manager and our director have been having it out constantly. There has been HR meeting after HR meeting and my manager even went out on stress leave for a month.

Fast forward to within the last few weeks. I have been instrumental in coordinating some very high priority projects and seem to be brought in on everything by our director. Even though both myself and the other department lead were supposed to be promoted, when it came down to it, they were only hiring one supervisor, still I was feeling pretty good when it came time to apply for this position.

I interviewed and things were going well, until I started hearing things from my manager. Now, she isn't always the most professional with me and tells me more than she probably should, but she knows she can trust me. She said that the director had told her that our second supervisor position was going to be used to hire someone from outide the company - a girl from her bank - and this girl will be her admin assistant. WTF??? That is not how the company is supposed to work. Then I was told that the director assumed the new hire position we had to replace someone that just left and is going to use it on the other team... double WTF. Then my manager told me that the director told her that I text when I am in the bathroom stalls... how does she know this??? Because she has seen me! So now she is peeking through the stalls at me?!?!?!?! I decided to not do anything about it until after the decision came in on the position. Well Wednesday came and my boss was acting strange. She had made a comment about not being able to hire who she wanted, which didn't really concern me since I thought I was a shoe-in with my director. *This was also the day that I had an apt scheduled to put my cat down*

So I go in and the director begins with "I want to let you know MW (my manager) had nothing to do with this decision. It was based on my feelings, input from other managers and HR" and proceeded to tell me that I hadn't gotten the position. Her decision was based on my maturity and lack of communication skills. QUADRUPAL WTF???? I completely lost it... I was sobbing. My manager excused me from her office and told me to take a walk to calm down. I came back in, joined the meeting I was late for and tried to forget what had just happened.

Then the director came out to where I was, asked to steal me again and pulled me into her office. She apologized for the day I was having and my kitty and for making the decision she had made. She then proceeded to tell me that one of our analysts was moving to purchasing and there would be a vacant spot. That it is the same pay scale and salary hours as a supervisor just without the responsibility. Now this is a non posted position - she can get fired for telling me this. And even if it is a posted position, she isn't supposed to talk to me about it. She told me in essesnce that I got the good end of the stick, that I am a brilliant person, a keeper not a tosser, and that I should keep an open mind for this other position, that it was a stepping stone and the people that hold that position within the company are the ones that have the most growth potential in the company. Well I appreciated what she was saying, but I saw through it completely. She is trying to STEAL me. Taking that position would require me to vacate my current job and work under the other manager. Now I am not sure if I have mentioned this before but I BUILT the segment of the department I work in, I have spent the last 7+ years making it what it is. What the hell makes her think that I would up and leave it to work under her persoanlity lacking manager on the other half of our department. They can't even keep their employees!!

Well Wednesday was also the last day for our director before medical leave for 3 weeks, so I waited until she left and went in to speak with my manager. Well apparently they had it out, in front of HR, after I left the office. How can someone who has never seen me work or interact with the people on my team say such unvalidated things and question my maturity level. My manager doesn't believe she had any of the input she claims she had, solidifying my feeling that she didn't hire me for the position because she wants me to take this analyst spot. Which I have ABSOLUTELY no intention of doing. Not to say the other girl isn't qualified or that I am more qualified than her, but I have the personality for supervising and she is more of a handle my own thing type of person... perfect for the analyst position. It was nice to know that my manager had every intention to hire me.

Now my work is a battle zone. HR meetings, VP meetings, I am waiting until it really hits the fan. I haven't quite decided what to do yet, since I am terrified for my job if I do say anything. Our director is known for getting rid of people she doesn't like. If she wants you gone, she will find a way to make you gone. But my manager has brought all of this to the attention of HR and is debating going to the ethics hotline.... I guess we will see.

So that's my week in a nutshell. Didn't get the job. Had to put my kitty down and oh yeah, found out today that we paid $40 to have our credit run for this apartment and we were denied because of money Ryan owed to a property managment company in the past, even though his credit is like a 750 or something. FML. What a week.

Ok I am done bitching now. Thanks for reading. Hope everyone else is having a better day/week. I'll be back full force next week.

(4 komentarze)

19 lipca 2012

Kinda fell off the wagon a bit. Today was the first time I have been to the gym in 3 weeks. The fiance and I went after I got off work. Eating has been horrible. But at least I can say I haven't gained. The last few days have been bad.... I had to put my cat down yesterday. She began getting a little slower a few months ago and it finally hit it's peak on Sunday. She was 17, so she had a good long life, but she was my baby. I picked her out 3 days after she was born. And then on top of that, I didn't get the promotion I was going for. Not because of I didn't qualify or because I can't do my job, but purely office politics. It's a long story and complete bullsh*t. If it wasn't for the fact that I have been feeling sick since I got home from the gym... Lack of eating and over doing it I'm guessing, I would outline it all right now. It's total crap and I am debating going to HR about it. Anyways, I am going to climb into bed and pray that I stop feeling like upchucking the 2 bites of hotdog I was able to choke down.

I'll try and find time tomorrow to go through the drama that has been my life and lack of diet.

(7 komentarze)

19 lipca 2012

Waga:	Do tej pory straciłeś:	Wciąż do stracenia:	Zastosowanie diety:
77,8 kg	15,9 kg	0 kg	Słabe

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